never follow a hippie to a 2nd location

i'm old and i need to wear these now

2009-04-28T10:31:00.000-07:00

this is a real book, i shit you not

2009-04-22T12:27:00.001-07:00

idol summary

2009-04-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

from ew.com tv watch:

Number of Donna Summer tracks performed by the seven remaining finalists: 3

Number of times Randy Jackson attempted to pass off the phrase ''you can sing'' as a legitimate critique of contestants in what's still ostensibly a singing competition: 4

Number of times Kara obviously rephrased Randy's critique as part of her own feedback: 3

Number of times the word ''artist'' was uttered by the judges and/or Lil Rounds following her cover of ''I'm Every Woman'': 5

Number of performances we've seen during this year's Idol finals: 65

Number of times Kara confused Saturday Night Live with Saturday Night Fever: 1

how do you say banana daquiri in spanish?

2009-04-20T16:52:00.001-07:00

these come to you courtesy of my new old friend peter from north cliff school.

indian cow farts

2009-04-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

i swear i didn't make this up:

By burping, belching and excreting copious amounts of methane - a greenhouse gas that traps 20 times more heat than carbon dioxide - India's livestock of roughly 485 million (including sheep and goats) contribute more to global warming than the vehicles they obstruct. With new research suggesting that emission of methane by Indian livestock is higher than previously estimated, scientists are furiously working at designing diets to help bovines and other ruminants eat better, stay more energetic and secrete lesser amounts of the offensive gas.

a short, squat wrestler in a poncho resembling the Mexican flag

2009-04-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

read here about the angry spicy little messicans

are you angry?

2009-03-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

there's a "store" in san diego that's called sarah's smash shack...this woman was angry that her husband left her and she just started throwing shit around...so she opened this place so other people could throw shit too!

"For around $25 a head, Lavely provides dishware, protective gear and the felt-tipped pens that people use to write on the plates they then violently fling at the walls."

here's the article...interrrresting.

i am not alone

2009-03-24T12:13:00.001-07:00

this is retarded

2009-03-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

Special Olympics takes on use of 'R-word'

(CNN) -- An unexpected and sudden spotlight on the Special Olympics, an organization that for more than 40 years has served and honored those with intellectual disabilities, comes less than two weeks before the nonprofit launches a new campaign: Spread the Word to the End the Word.

March 31 is being billed a "national day of awareness," a call to Americans to recognize and rethink their use of the word "retard," or as the organization would prefer, the "R-word."

http://www.r-word.org/

p.s. i know i'm going to hell...oh wait, jews don't have hell...retard retard retard.

wtf nj

2009-03-19T10:11:00.001-07:00

NJ May Ban Brazilian Waxes

New Jersey's board of cosmetology is pushing for a ban on Brazilian bikini waxes, a popular salon treatment that removes all hair in the genital area using strips of hot wax. Why? Two New Jersey women were hospitalized for infections after receiving the treatment. Genital waxing has never specifically been allowed, but because no direct ban exists most salons provide the service, which their owners say is a big money-maker. Salon owners are predicting that women will seek their bare-it-all fix across state lines.

HELLO!!!

2009-03-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN TO APPEAR ON "THE DAILY SHOW"

Bruce Springsteen will be doing a solo performance of his new album's title track, "Working on a Dream" on the "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" today (March 19) at 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) on COMEDY CENTRAL. Bruce Springsteen's performance will be available online the following day at www.thedailyshow.com.

i bet i can cheer andrew up

2009-03-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

clever way to give notice

2009-03-17T07:31:00.001-07:00

funny dictionary finds, parte dos

2009-03-17T06:35:00.002-07:00

is it just me or do you find it hilarious that there's a specific word for shyster notary???

Colmillo: eyetooth
Colactaneo: foster brother
Estropajo: slovenly
Gluglutear: to gobble
Bembo: thick lipped
Amojonar: to mark off with landmarks
Soplete: blowpipe
Tasajo: jerked beef
Donjuan: four o clock
Flinflanear: to tinkle
Gozque: little yapping dog
Zullar: to break wind
Zurupeto: shyster notary
Robot: robot

elevator headline or cartoon plot

2009-03-17T06:35:00.001-07:00

"scientists create laser to kill mosquitos"

you make the call...

awesome quiz

2009-03-17T06:34:00.001-07:00

let me know your score from this

real housewives of nyc

2009-03-16T06:59:00.001-07:00

To explain the unique ridiculousness of Alex and Simon to someone unacquainted with this show, I'd present this snippet of dialogue from the scene of them packing for their Caribbean vacation:

ALEX: I probably don't need the denim ball gown, as much as I love it.
SIMON: I'm going to take these pink jeans.
ALEX: Are you taking your pink loafers too?

soooooooo bored

2009-03-16T06:12:00.001-07:00

i've been home with a sinus infection for 2 days so far, and when i was too congested to sleep last night, i picked up the informative spanish/english dictionary and found the following words that i thought i'd share with my 3 readers:

Folgo: foot muff
Petimetre: dude, sport, dandy
Quebrantaterro: clodhopper
Quiquido: constipated
Embolar: to put wooden balls on
Eyacular: to ejaculate
Largatija: wall lizard
Mechon: cowlick
Nagualear: to be out looking for trouble all night

mmm...aragorn

2009-03-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

American Film Institute's top 10 movie quotes

2009-03-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

what would you change? add?

1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." -- "Gone With the Wind"

2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." -- "The Godfather"

3. "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." -- "On the Waterfront"

4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." -- "The Wizard of Oz"

5. "Here's looking at you, kid." -- "Casablanca"

6. "Go ahead, make my day." -- "Sudden Impact"

7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup." -- "Sunset Blvd."

8. "May the Force be with you." -- "Star Wars"

9. "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." -- "All About Eve"

10. "You talking to me?" -- "Taxi Driver"

Source: American Film Institute

almost live blogging during idol wildcard

2009-03-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

* tish doesn't like what the first girl is wearing. i just plain don't like the first girl. acting sexy doesn't make you sexy

* i'm not a fan of the over-the-top runs but dualing piano guy is killin' it!

* black horse and the cherry tree is the "jamsiest" song around. i guess...

* i hope to be myself too, von. BEGINNING to become boring? nuh uh. always has been. ok, buh bye von.

* if all these contestants were able to pick the "right" song this time, why didn't they pick that song the first time?

* ricky braddy is very very good. but every time i hear his name i think of ricky bobby and the pre-meal prayers to baby jesus.

* self-indulgent is the new pitchy

* i'm DREADING seeing tatiana. GO A-FUCKING-WAY. ENOUGH. seriously, PLEASE.

* this show is monumentally better when i can fast forward thru the commercials and the judges' bullshite

yay!

2009-03-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

congrats to andrew and harley on the birth of jack abrevaya heller!

welcome to the world, jack!

live blogging during american idol

2009-03-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

* i hate the judges and how ryan introduces them every single episode

* von is white and nerdy and i can't believe the judges liked his performance

* my sushi is delicious even though they charged me $1 for salad dressing

* what's with the rubber leggings?

* i don't get the shopping thing either, simon

* why do they keep letting super young people thru and then say they're too young to know what they're doing? a lot of these kids would do better if they waited a few years...

* the dorky kid has a good voice but come on. total dork. i don't like how he's doing that growly voice thing during an elton john song. he's all over the place. the judges just ripped him a new one. i think they let him thru just so they could do that. a'holes.

* abba? really? wow, that girl f'd up that song bad. even though she was "cute as a button". what does a 16 year old know about making an abba song contemporary?

* when i see commercials for nexxus dualiste, it makes me think of zoolander and derelicte

* ju'not joiner is good...i can tell who he'd be as an artist and he's making it his own (i could be an idol judge). but i don't get that delilah song, what's the big whoop?

* nathaniel needs some tough love and a shrink but he gets HUGE points for singing meatloaf. his voice was way less queeny than he is.

* damn, this show moves so fucking slowly

* oh jeez. blind dude. does he get automatic sympathy votes? ooh, now i'm the a'hole.
still, he has an afromullet that he probably doesn't even know he has cuz he can't see it and his song is boring me to tears. but he's nice

* i didn't realize how much i worship my DVR...commercials are boooorrrrinnnnggggg and there are sooooooo manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy of themmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

* nice jorge, nice one baby

* final thoughts:
von's gone
so is taylor
so is dorky guy
buh buy 16 yr old
i hope ju'not joiner stays
and that kristen two-tone hair goes
i'd like to see nathanial go thru, but it's not likely
who's felicia barton?
blind guy...just...blind guy
see ya country girl
yay jorge
yay lil rounds

* i will spare you from live blogging during bachelor after the final rose

Does God Hate the Stimulus?

2009-02-10T13:46:00.001-08:00

The stimulus may have passed the Senate, but it fails a more important test: God’s. That, at least, is what former Arkansas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is alleging. “The dust is settling on the ‘bipartisan’ stimulus bill and one thing is clear: It is anti-religious,” Huckabee wrote in an email. He continued, “We cannot afford to sit round one out, because if we do, they will only become more emboldened and their grab for power more audacious and damaging to our country and our freedoms.”

WTF'nF?

this is not an all bruce blog, but...

2009-02-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

...he's just so f'n AWESOME.

he's waging an all-out war against ticketmaster because of their "shifty Internet sales policies" and has published the following letter on his website. Even the NJ attorney general is getting involved...damn, bruce RULES.

A LETTER TO OUR FANS:
We know there was much confusion regarding Ticketmaster and TicketsNow during last Monday's on-sale dates. We were as confused as you were, as we were given no advance notice of the major changes in the Ticketmaster-TicketsNow world. (Bear in mind that we are not clients of any ticketing company, and that all those arrangements are between venues and ticketing companies.)

Last Monday, we were informed that Ticketmaster was redirecting your log-in requests for tickets at face value, to their secondary site TicketsNow, which specializes in up-selling tickets at above face value. They did this even when other seats remained available at face value. We condemn this practice.

We perceive this as a pure conflict of interest. Ticketmaster is there to ensure that we have a good, fair sale of our tickets at their face value plus normal ticketing charges. TicketsNow is supposed to be a secondary site where people who already have tickets may exchange, trade, and, unfortunately, speculate with them. We have asked this redirection from Ticketmaster to TicketsNow cease and desist immediately and Ticketmaster has agreed to do so in the future and has removed its unwanted material from their and our site.

We know the many cynical arguments some make in favor of the Ticketmaster system: There are rumors that some artists or managers participate in Ticketmaster charges--we do not. There are rumors that some artists or managers are receiving a percentage of the amount above face value at secondary outlets like TicketsNow--we do not. Some artists or managers may not perceive there to be a conflict between having the distributor of their tickets in effect "scalping" those same tickets through a secondary company like TicketsNow--we do.

heh heh heh

2009-02-03T15:09:00.001-08:00

is there anybody ALIVE out there??!!!??

2009-02-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

not exactly the legacy he was hoping for

2009-01-30T07:28:00.000-08:00

A monument to a shoe thrown at former President Bush is unveiled at the Tikrit Orphanage complex.

A huge sculpture of the footwear hurled at President Bush in December during a trip to Iraq has been unveiled in a ceremony at the Tikrit Orphanage complex.

andrew's gonna love this

2009-01-28T14:45:00.001-08:00

check this site out

so hot he burns holes in the ground when he walks...

2009-01-28T14:34:00.001-08:00

2009-01-21T14:13:00.001-08:00

President Barack Obama signs his first act as president, a proclamation declaring a national day of renewal and reconciliation and calling on Americans to serve one another, after being sworn in as the 44th President of the United States during the inaugural ceremony in Washington Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009.

See more amazing pictures here, of people all around the world watching the ceremony.

hip hip hooray

2009-01-20T10:14:00.000-08:00

big. fat. duh.

2009-01-16T11:29:00.001-08:00

BOOOOO new trop!

2009-01-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

lowbrow despicable indeed

2nd avenue and 9th street

2009-01-13T07:08:00.001-08:00

jack's back!!!!

2009-01-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

from "100 random facts about jack bauer"

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer gives you his word that you'll get your deal, then he really means it. Unless you killed David Palmer. Then you're fucked.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Jack Bauer can kill 100% of whatever the fuck he wants.

Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

When Jack learned that Audrey was killed in a car accident in China, one billion asians crapped their pants.

Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

go bears

2008-12-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

Fuck You, Penguin

2008-12-16T13:23:00.001-08:00

this is from here..."A blog where I tell cute animals what's what."

baby stanley?

2008-12-10T13:22:00.001-08:00

i wish this was me, except the getting caught part

2008-12-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

Woman hides monkey under shirt during flight, convicted

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — A Spokane woman who hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand to Los Angeles — pretending she was pregnant — has been convicted of smuggling charges.

Gypsy Lawson, 29, successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles with the rhesus monkey hidden in her shirt after the November 2007 trip.

Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., accompanied her on the flight from Bangkok and was also convicted.

A jury found the two women guilty Monday on separate charges of conspiracy and smuggling goods into the United States. Sentencing is set for March 3.

They were arrested after Lawson boasted to a clothing store clerk about the airport escapade.

The monkey is now at a primate rescue facility in Oregon.

people are tired of being lied to

2008-12-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

from msnbc.com travel

People are forfeiting the great American vacation because they can’t stomach the travel industry’s lies anymore. Take the airlines, which earlier this year imposed a series of new surcharges in response, they said, to higher fuel costs. When fuel prices fell, what happened to the fees? They stuck around. “Jet fuel prices have gone from over $140 per barrel in August to under $50 in November, but airfares in October were actually up 10 percent,” says Chicke Fitzgerald, the chief executive of roadescapes.com, a site for road trips. “Americans are definitely voting on that trend with their wallets.” How so? By either vacationing close to home, or just staying home altogether.

WTF??

one of my morbid fascinations

2008-12-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

Sunny von Bulow dies after 28 years in coma

NEW YORK (CNN) -- After spending nearly 28 years in an irreversible coma, heiress and socialite Martha "Sunny" von Bulow died Saturday in a New York nursing home, according to a family statement. She was 76.

swedish dance bands from the 70's

2008-12-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

this is just a sample...click here for more awesomeness.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

2008-12-03T11:19:00.001-08:00

from televisionwithoutpity.com
The Feel Good Message: Charlie Brown and his friends put on a play about the holiday, but get so overwhelmed with the commercialization that it takes a speech from the Bible to make them remember what Christmas is really supposed to be about.

The True Meaning: Clearly since they are doing a Nativity play for school, they've yet to learn about the separation of church and state. There are really vicious kids who torture Charlie Brown and make fun of him and his tree. Then it takes a really trippy turn when dancing (and possibly some spiked egg nog) helps the kids as they join hands around a shabby tree with the help of a humanistic dog and create a beautiful holiday display. It's like one big twisted mass hallucination.

even when i'm drunk, i'm a grammar nerd

2008-11-19T13:44:00.001-08:00

i took this picture at bravo pizza at 1am last friday night. can someone explain the apostrophe between "hero" and "s"...thank you.

not stanley, but could be

2008-11-19T07:33:00.000-08:00

the first 100 days

2008-11-18T12:50:00.000-08:00

“I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a new deal for the American people,” Franklin D. Roosevelt told supporters in 1932 while accepting the presidential nomination. When he took office the following year, he spent his first 100 days enacting a dizzying number of reforms designed to stabilize an economically depressed nation. Since then, a president’s first 100 days have been an indicator of what he is able to accomplish. In January 2009, the clock starts again.

this is a really cool chart detailing the first 100 days of each president since FDR...if you can't see it big enough here, click here.

thank goodness for dvds

2008-11-18T12:18:00.001-08:00

holy stupidity, batman!

2008-11-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

The mayor of a small Turkish city called Batman (real name) is suing…ah, Batman.

Even though the comic book hero was first introduced in 1939, the show debuted in 1966, and the Caped Crusader finally hit the big screen in 1989, (The city of) Batman is only now filing a lawsuit against Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. for using the name "Batman" without permission. The timing is suspicious considering how Dark Knight - Batman's latest installment - is about to hit the $1 billion mark at box offices worldwide.

Money can sure make people stupid!

The mayor of Batman, Huseyin Kalkan, is also claiming that the shared name has caused several unsolved murder cases and made their women particularly suicidal. He also said that the franchise has made it difficult for businesses of his city to register overseas.

A Warner Bros. rep responded to the lawsuit with "We are only aware of this claim via press reports and have not seen any actual legal action."

The mayor should consider renaming the city….

To Idiotsville.

with this powerpoint, i thee work wed

2008-11-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

they left out “inappropriately reads coworker’s personal text messages” but the rest seem spot on.

Seven signs you have a work spouse
By Patrick Erwin CareerBuilder.com writer

If you and a co-worker can finish each other's sentences, you might have a work spouse.
A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage.
According to a 2007 survey from Vault.com, a career information Web site, 23 percent of workers reported that they had a work spouse.
Do you have a work spouse?
Here are seven clear signs you might have a work spouse:
1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.
2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.
3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You're comfortable enough to point out that the other's hair is sticking up -- or that someone's fly is down.
4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.
5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).
6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.
7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.

full article here

jew jew hooray!

2008-11-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

Rahm Emanuel will be the president's right-hand man in the new administration. The 48-year-old accepted the position as Barack Obama’s White House Chief of Staff on Thursday, according to the New York Times.

A Democratic congressman representing his native Chicago since 2003, he earned his chops raising funds for Bill Clinton's White House runs and serving as an advisor. Known for his hard-charging personal style, he's also dad to three children, son Zacharias and daughters Ilana and Leah, with his wife Amy. But did you know he could have been pirouetting with the Joffrey Ballet? Read on for a briefing.

• He's the real-life Ari's brother. His youngest brother Ariel (Ari) Emanuel is a founder of the Endeavor talent agency in Hollywood and was an inspiration for Jeremy Piven's character, Ari Gold, on HBO’s Entourage. Not to be outdone, Rahm is said have been a model for Bradley Whitford's character, Josh Lyman, on The West Wing.

• He could have been a ballet dancer. He studied ballet as a teen and was offered a scholarship to join the renowned Joffrey Ballet, but went to Sarah Lawrence College instead.

• He's missing part of a finger. In his youth, Emanuel badly cut a finger on a meat slicer while working at an Arby's. The wound became infected, and he lost half of the middle finger on his right hand.

• He volunteered with the Israeli army. During the first Gulf War, he did a stint as a civilian volunteer with the Israel Defense Forces, rust-proofing brakes on a base in northern Israel.

• He once sent a rotten dead fish to a political enemy. In the Clinton administration, his take-no-prisoners style earned him the nickname "Rahm-bo."

funnies

2008-11-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

i'm changing my name to fonzie

2008-11-04T12:06:00.001-08:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

speaks for itself

2008-10-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

i'd try and come up with some clever text for this one but a) my head is too cloudy from this sinus infection, and b) does it really need it?

awful. evil. hilarious.

2008-10-22T10:56:00.001-07:00

straight to hell, that's where i'm headed...

Got unhappy STD news? Break it with an e-card

2008-10-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

read this...oy.

it's always about boys' balls

2008-10-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

Police: 89-year-old won't give kids' ball back

BLUE ASH, Ohio (AP) — Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

Edna Jester was arrested last week in the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash.

Police say one child's father complained that Jester kept the youngsters' ball after it landed in her yard. Police Capt. James Schaffer says there has been an ongoing dispute in the neighborhood over kids' balls landing in the woman's yard.

quote of the day

2008-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

andrew and i were at the 'perfect sandwich' place and he got fresh cut ham and swiss on 7 grain bread, and i got corned beef w/cole slaw on toasted rye...we each wanted what the other ordered so we decided to split both so we could each enjoy the meaty variety of each other's choice.

so...as we were paying and we high fived and i said "good call", andrew said:

"yeah, we have good cerebral CALLsy"

thank you and good day

friday optimism

2008-10-17T08:17:00.001-07:00

great analogy

2008-10-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

damn am i funny

2008-10-10T12:48:00.001-07:00

cake wrecks

2008-10-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

check out this awesome website about horrible cakes...this is just 1 shining example.

i'm moving to ypsilanti

2008-10-07T07:31:00.000-07:00

general awesomeness

2008-10-06T14:04:00.000-07:00

lauren sally marcus

2008-10-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

my gorgeous niece, born october 4 at 6:30pm, 8lbs, 20 in.

RIGGGGGGGGS!!!!

2008-10-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

'Friday Night Lights' recap:

Friday Night Lights is back—for some viewers: Last night the show started a 13-episode run on DirectTV’s 101 Network. NBC says it will air these new-season episodes starting in January. So for those of you without DirectTV, I’ll just say right up top, here’s a great big SPOILER ALERT.

So summer has passed in Dillon, Texas, and what was new last night? Well, in preparation for Gaius Charles’ announced departure from the series, his Smash was coping with the bad news that his injured knee would probably never enable him to run as fast as he once did. Connie Britton’s Tami has become the high school’s principal—that seems like an abrupt promotion, but I’m going with anything that keeps Tammy center-screen and under pressure, since stress brings out the most energetic/anguished/sarcastic/inspiring sides of her character. And lo and behold, the flesh has triumphed over the spirit, as last season’s newly prim Lyla (Minka Kelly) is now doing the deed with Tim (Taylor Kitsch). Not sure how this squares with her religious beliefs as they were dramatized last season, but it’s a heckuva lot of fun watching these two have their fling. Kitsch in particular continues to impress: This guy is, mark my words, a budding movie star once FNL throws its final touchdown.

Speaking of which, a mighty touchdown throw was tossed by a new character—J.D. McCoy, a freshman brought in as rookie quarterback. J.D. himself didn’t have a single line last night that I heard, but his pushy dad—played by the always reliably smooth D. W. Moffett—made a big impression as a guy who’s going to be a real pain in the neck for our long-suffering Coach Taylor (all hail Kyle Chandler).

I’ll keep this short: We’re off to a great season, by which I mean most major characters are unhappy (yet wry and funny), the series seems as grungily authentic as ever, and while I don’t care for the new short, curly hairdo Tyra (Adrianne Palicki) is sporting, maybe I’ll get used to it.

ha!

2008-10-02T11:37:00.001-07:00

palin bingo...to make the debate even MORE entertaining!

jim's best pranks

2008-10-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

i've seen all these and it still made me laugh out loud.

Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate

2008-10-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

10. Suspicious Russian tourists spotted across the Bering strait in Dezhnevo

9. Wrasslin' a bear

8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching

7. When taken on tour of White House by McCain handlers, is "inadvertently" locked in Cheney's man-sized safe

6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states

5. Speechless after finally looking up what "MILF" stands for

4. On deadline to finish her book, Namin' Your Baby the Alaskan Way

3. Needs more time to really nail those hilarious hair-plug zingers

2. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get Kissinger's moral stank off of her

1. Stuck in traffic on the Bridge to Nowhere

McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'

2008-10-01T07:38:00.001-07:00

McCain's Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'

what's funny about this? you tell me...

2008-09-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

great quote

2008-09-29T08:10:00.001-07:00

"If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself."

can 106,169 people be wrong? i don't think so

2008-09-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

oy vey...

2008-09-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

is Rosh Hashanah a multi-day event commemorating the start of the Jewish New Year, meant to celebrate the creation of the world? Or is it what this DreamWorks assistant thinks it is?

Palin is a stupid mofo too

2008-09-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin with Katie Couric...it's horrifying and not a joke. As much as it seems to be. I feel sick to my stomach. Click here for the video.

McCain is a stupid mofo

2008-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

it's a little long but some seriously goooooood shit. you can skip to about 3 minutes in...and definitely wait for the top 10 towards the end.

oh for crying out loud

2008-09-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

today's headlines

McCain Seeks to Delay First Debate Amid Financial Crisis

Laura Bush: Palin Lacks Foreign Policy Experience

(thanks lesli jo)

did they create this just for ME???

2008-09-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Celebrate National Punctuation Day, September 24

NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!

heh heh

2008-09-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

click on the pic to make it bigger if you can't read it...it's worth it!

she sucks

2008-09-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

a great description of sarah palin from maureen dowd

"a Lancôme rep who thinks 'The Flintstones' was based on a true story"

mmmmmmmmmmm

2008-09-21T19:58:00.000-07:00

mrs. jen draper. i like the sound of it.

Jewish Voters Push-Polled

2008-09-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

it's nice to see they're involving the tribe. click here below for some pretty fascinating insights.

roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair

2008-09-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

reason #479

2008-09-18T18:58:00.000-07:00

Blind masseurs jump from bridge

SEOUL, South Korea (CNN) -- Police in South Korea have arrested 26 blind masseurs who were threatening to jump from a bridge to protest a government decision they say will rob them of their livelihood.

The South Korean health ministry recently decided to grant licenses to sighted masseurs and masseuses to practice certain kinds of massages. Since 1963, the law allowed only blind people to practice the profession, Yonhap said.

a brilliant idea for $10

2008-09-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

Instead of (in addition to?) us all sending around more emails about how horrible she is, let's all make a donation to Planned Parenthood.

In Sarah Palin's name.

And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor. HERE'S the link.

You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is:

John McCain 2008
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

PS make sure you use that link above or choose the pulldown of Donate--Honorary or Memorial Donations, not the regular "Donate Online"

cross blogination

2008-09-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

look here. i'm famous!!!! thanks smeller!

i will resist the urge to put any more cat pix here

2008-09-17T08:30:00.001-07:00

i hope there's SOME cuteness left over for my niece or nephew

2008-09-17T08:14:00.001-07:00

with a baseball bat

2008-09-17T08:08:00.001-07:00

i know it's old, but it's still one of my favorite things. especially when i picture gela doing the banana dance.

STOP PLAYING THAT!!! -mercedes mira

it can't say much for my intelligence...

2008-09-17T07:44:00.001-07:00

...but i really love the people's court

here's just 1 example of the insane fabulousness

2 toilets are walking down the street, 1 toilet says to the other toilet, "i feel a little flushed"

2008-09-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

34th street viewed from the QM12

(props to the electric lady of the lake for the zinger)