i'm old and i need to wear these now

this is a real book, i shit you not

idol summary

from ew.com tv watch:

Number of Donna Summer tracks performed by the seven remaining finalists: 3

Number of times Randy Jackson attempted to pass off the phrase ''you can sing'' as a legitimate critique of contestants in what's still ostensibly a singing competition: 4

Number of times Kara obviously rephrased Randy's critique as part of her own feedback: 3

Number of times the word ''artist'' was uttered by the judges and/or Lil Rounds following her cover of ''I'm Every Woman'': 5

Number of performances we've seen during this year's Idol finals: 65

Number of times Kara confused Saturday Night Live with Saturday Night Fever: 1

how do you say banana daquiri in spanish?

these come to you courtesy of my new old friend peter from north cliff school.

indian cow farts

i swear i didn't make this up:

By burping, belching and excreting copious amounts of methane - a greenhouse gas that traps 20 times more heat than carbon dioxide - India's livestock of roughly 485 million (including sheep and goats) contribute more to global warming than the vehicles they obstruct. With new research suggesting that emission of methane by Indian livestock is higher than previously estimated, scientists are furiously working at designing diets to help bovines and other ruminants eat better, stay more energetic and secrete lesser amounts of the offensive gas.

a short, squat wrestler in a poncho resembling the Mexican flag

read here about the angry spicy little messicans

are you angry?

there's a "store" in san diego that's called sarah's smash shack...this woman was angry that her husband left her and she just started throwing shit around...so she opened this place so other people could throw shit too!

"For around $25 a head, Lavely provides dishware, protective gear and the felt-tipped pens that people use to write on the plates they then violently fling at the walls."

here's the article...interrrresting.

i am not alone

this is retarded

Special Olympics takes on use of 'R-word'

(CNN) -- An unexpected and sudden spotlight on the Special Olympics, an organization that for more than 40 years has served and honored those with intellectual disabilities, comes less than two weeks before the nonprofit launches a new campaign: Spread the Word to the End the Word.

March 31 is being billed a "national day of awareness," a call to Americans to recognize and rethink their use of the word "retard," or as the organization would prefer, the "R-word."

http://www.r-word.org/

p.s. i know i'm going to hell...oh wait, jews don't have hell...retard retard retard.

wtf nj

NJ May Ban Brazilian Waxes

New Jersey's board of cosmetology is pushing for a ban on Brazilian bikini waxes, a popular salon treatment that removes all hair in the genital area using strips of hot wax. Why? Two New Jersey women were hospitalized for infections after receiving the treatment. Genital waxing has never specifically been allowed, but because no direct ban exists most salons provide the service, which their owners say is a big money-maker. Salon owners are predicting that women will seek their bare-it-all fix across state lines.

HELLO!!!

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN TO APPEAR ON "THE DAILY SHOW"

Bruce Springsteen will be doing a solo performance of his new album's title track, "Working on a Dream" on the "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" today (March 19) at 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) on COMEDY CENTRAL. Bruce Springsteen's performance will be available online the following day at www.thedailyshow.com.

i bet i can cheer andrew up

clever way to give notice

funny dictionary finds, parte dos

is it just me or do you find it hilarious that there's a specific word for shyster notary???

Colmillo: eyetooth
Colactaneo: foster brother
Estropajo: slovenly
Gluglutear: to gobble
Bembo: thick lipped
Amojonar: to mark off with landmarks
Soplete: blowpipe
Tasajo: jerked beef
Donjuan: four o clock
Flinflanear: to tinkle
Gozque: little yapping dog
Zullar: to break wind
Zurupeto: shyster notary
Robot: robot

elevator headline or cartoon plot

"scientists create laser to kill mosquitos"

you make the call...

awesome quiz

let me know your score from this

real housewives of nyc

To explain the unique ridiculousness of Alex and Simon to someone unacquainted with this show, I'd present this snippet of dialogue from the scene of them packing for their Caribbean vacation:

ALEX: I probably don't need the denim ball gown, as much as I love it.
SIMON: I'm going to take these pink jeans.
ALEX: Are you taking your pink loafers too?

soooooooo bored

i've been home with a sinus infection for 2 days so far, and when i was too congested to sleep last night, i picked up the informative spanish/english dictionary and found the following words that i thought i'd share with my 3 readers:

Folgo: foot muff
Petimetre: dude, sport, dandy
Quebrantaterro: clodhopper
Quiquido: constipated
Embolar: to put wooden balls on
Eyacular: to ejaculate
Largatija: wall lizard
Mechon: cowlick
Nagualear: to be out looking for trouble all night

mmm...aragorn

American Film Institute's top 10 movie quotes

what would you change? add?

1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." -- "Gone With the Wind"

2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." -- "The Godfather"

3. "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." -- "On the Waterfront"

4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." -- "The Wizard of Oz"

5. "Here's looking at you, kid." -- "Casablanca"

6. "Go ahead, make my day." -- "Sudden Impact"

7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup." -- "Sunset Blvd."

8. "May the Force be with you." -- "Star Wars"

9. "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." -- "All About Eve"

10. "You talking to me?" -- "Taxi Driver"

Source: American Film Institute