go bears

Fuck You, Penguin

this is from here..."A blog where I tell cute animals what's what."

baby stanley?

i wish this was me, except the getting caught part

Woman hides monkey under shirt during flight, convicted

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — A Spokane woman who hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand to Los Angeles — pretending she was pregnant — has been convicted of smuggling charges.

Gypsy Lawson, 29, successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles with the rhesus monkey hidden in her shirt after the November 2007 trip.

Her mother, Fran Ogren, 55, of Northport, Wash., accompanied her on the flight from Bangkok and was also convicted.

A jury found the two women guilty Monday on separate charges of conspiracy and smuggling goods into the United States. Sentencing is set for March 3.

They were arrested after Lawson boasted to a clothing store clerk about the airport escapade.

The monkey is now at a primate rescue facility in Oregon.

people are tired of being lied to

from msnbc.com travel

People are forfeiting the great American vacation because they can’t stomach the travel industry’s lies anymore. Take the airlines, which earlier this year imposed a series of new surcharges in response, they said, to higher fuel costs. When fuel prices fell, what happened to the fees? They stuck around. “Jet fuel prices have gone from over $140 per barrel in August to under $50 in November, but airfares in October were actually up 10 percent,” says Chicke Fitzgerald, the chief executive of roadescapes.com, a site for road trips. “Americans are definitely voting on that trend with their wallets.” How so? By either vacationing close to home, or just staying home altogether.

WTF??

one of my morbid fascinations

Sunny von Bulow dies after 28 years in coma

NEW YORK (CNN) -- After spending nearly 28 years in an irreversible coma, heiress and socialite Martha "Sunny" von Bulow died Saturday in a New York nursing home, according to a family statement. She was 76.

swedish dance bands from the 70's

this is just a sample...click here for more awesomeness.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

from televisionwithoutpity.com
The Feel Good Message: Charlie Brown and his friends put on a play about the holiday, but get so overwhelmed with the commercialization that it takes a speech from the Bible to make them remember what Christmas is really supposed to be about.

The True Meaning: Clearly since they are doing a Nativity play for school, they've yet to learn about the separation of church and state. There are really vicious kids who torture Charlie Brown and make fun of him and his tree. Then it takes a really trippy turn when dancing (and possibly some spiked egg nog) helps the kids as they join hands around a shabby tree with the help of a humanistic dog and create a beautiful holiday display. It's like one big twisted mass hallucination.

even when i'm drunk, i'm a grammar nerd

i took this picture at bravo pizza at 1am last friday night. can someone explain the apostrophe between "hero" and "s"...thank you.

not stanley, but could be

the first 100 days

“I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a new deal for the American people,” Franklin D. Roosevelt told supporters in 1932 while accepting the presidential nomination. When he took office the following year, he spent his first 100 days enacting a dizzying number of reforms designed to stabilize an economically depressed nation. Since then, a president’s first 100 days have been an indicator of what he is able to accomplish. In January 2009, the clock starts again.

this is a really cool chart detailing the first 100 days of each president since FDR...if you can't see it big enough here, click here.

thank goodness for dvds

holy stupidity, batman!

The mayor of a small Turkish city called Batman (real name) is suing…ah, Batman.

Even though the comic book hero was first introduced in 1939, the show debuted in 1966, and the Caped Crusader finally hit the big screen in 1989, (The city of) Batman is only now filing a lawsuit against Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. for using the name "Batman" without permission. The timing is suspicious considering how Dark Knight - Batman's latest installment - is about to hit the $1 billion mark at box offices worldwide.

Money can sure make people stupid!

The mayor of Batman, Huseyin Kalkan, is also claiming that the shared name has caused several unsolved murder cases and made their women particularly suicidal. He also said that the franchise has made it difficult for businesses of his city to register overseas.

A Warner Bros. rep responded to the lawsuit with "We are only aware of this claim via press reports and have not seen any actual legal action."

The mayor should consider renaming the city….

To Idiotsville.

with this powerpoint, i thee work wed

they left out “inappropriately reads coworker’s personal text messages” but the rest seem spot on.

Seven signs you have a work spouse
By Patrick Erwin CareerBuilder.com writer

If you and a co-worker can finish each other's sentences, you might have a work spouse.
A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage.
According to a 2007 survey from Vault.com, a career information Web site, 23 percent of workers reported that they had a work spouse.
Do you have a work spouse?
Here are seven clear signs you might have a work spouse:
1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.
2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.
3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You're comfortable enough to point out that the other's hair is sticking up -- or that someone's fly is down.
4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.
5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).
6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.
7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.

full article here

jew jew hooray!

Rahm Emanuel will be the president's right-hand man in the new administration. The 48-year-old accepted the position as Barack Obama’s White House Chief of Staff on Thursday, according to the New York Times.

A Democratic congressman representing his native Chicago since 2003, he earned his chops raising funds for Bill Clinton's White House runs and serving as an advisor. Known for his hard-charging personal style, he's also dad to three children, son Zacharias and daughters Ilana and Leah, with his wife Amy. But did you know he could have been pirouetting with the Joffrey Ballet? Read on for a briefing.

• He's the real-life Ari's brother. His youngest brother Ariel (Ari) Emanuel is a founder of the Endeavor talent agency in Hollywood and was an inspiration for Jeremy Piven's character, Ari Gold, on HBO’s Entourage. Not to be outdone, Rahm is said have been a model for Bradley Whitford's character, Josh Lyman, on The West Wing.

• He could have been a ballet dancer. He studied ballet as a teen and was offered a scholarship to join the renowned Joffrey Ballet, but went to Sarah Lawrence College instead.

• He's missing part of a finger. In his youth, Emanuel badly cut a finger on a meat slicer while working at an Arby's. The wound became infected, and he lost half of the middle finger on his right hand.

• He volunteered with the Israeli army. During the first Gulf War, he did a stint as a civilian volunteer with the Israel Defense Forces, rust-proofing brakes on a base in northern Israel.

• He once sent a rotten dead fish to a political enemy. In the Clinton administration, his take-no-prisoners style earned him the nickname "Rahm-bo."

funnies

i'm changing my name to fonzie

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

speaks for itself

i'd try and come up with some clever text for this one but a) my head is too cloudy from this sinus infection, and b) does it really need it?

awful. evil. hilarious.

straight to hell, that's where i'm headed...

Got unhappy STD news? Break it with an e-card

read this...oy.

it's always about boys' balls

Police: 89-year-old won't give kids' ball back

BLUE ASH, Ohio (AP) — Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

Edna Jester was arrested last week in the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash.

Police say one child's father complained that Jester kept the youngsters' ball after it landed in her yard. Police Capt. James Schaffer says there has been an ongoing dispute in the neighborhood over kids' balls landing in the woman's yard.

quote of the day

andrew and i were at the 'perfect sandwich' place and he got fresh cut ham and swiss on 7 grain bread, and i got corned beef w/cole slaw on toasted rye...we each wanted what the other ordered so we decided to split both so we could each enjoy the meaty variety of each other's choice.

so...as we were paying and we high fived and i said "good call", andrew said:

"yeah, we have good cerebral CALLsy"

thank you and good day

friday optimism

great analogy

damn am i funny

cake wrecks

check out this awesome website about horrible cakes...this is just 1 shining example.

i'm moving to ypsilanti

general awesomeness

lauren sally marcus

my gorgeous niece, born october 4 at 6:30pm, 8lbs, 20 in.

RIGGGGGGGGS!!!!

'Friday Night Lights' recap:

Friday Night Lights is back—for some viewers: Last night the show started a 13-episode run on DirectTV’s 101 Network. NBC says it will air these new-season episodes starting in January. So for those of you without DirectTV, I’ll just say right up top, here’s a great big SPOILER ALERT.

So summer has passed in Dillon, Texas, and what was new last night? Well, in preparation for Gaius Charles’ announced departure from the series, his Smash was coping with the bad news that his injured knee would probably never enable him to run as fast as he once did. Connie Britton’s Tami has become the high school’s principal—that seems like an abrupt promotion, but I’m going with anything that keeps Tammy center-screen and under pressure, since stress brings out the most energetic/anguished/sarcastic/inspiring sides of her character. And lo and behold, the flesh has triumphed over the spirit, as last season’s newly prim Lyla (Minka Kelly) is now doing the deed with Tim (Taylor Kitsch). Not sure how this squares with her religious beliefs as they were dramatized last season, but it’s a heckuva lot of fun watching these two have their fling. Kitsch in particular continues to impress: This guy is, mark my words, a budding movie star once FNL throws its final touchdown.

Speaking of which, a mighty touchdown throw was tossed by a new character—J.D. McCoy, a freshman brought in as rookie quarterback. J.D. himself didn’t have a single line last night that I heard, but his pushy dad—played by the always reliably smooth D. W. Moffett—made a big impression as a guy who’s going to be a real pain in the neck for our long-suffering Coach Taylor (all hail Kyle Chandler).

I’ll keep this short: We’re off to a great season, by which I mean most major characters are unhappy (yet wry and funny), the series seems as grungily authentic as ever, and while I don’t care for the new short, curly hairdo Tyra (Adrianne Palicki) is sporting, maybe I’ll get used to it.

ha!

palin bingo...to make the debate even MORE entertaining!

jim's best pranks

i've seen all these and it still made me laugh out loud.

Top 10 Reasons Sarah Palin Cancels the Debate

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'

McCain's Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'

what's funny about this? you tell me...

great quote

"If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself."

can 106,169 people be wrong? i don't think so

oy vey...

is Rosh Hashanah a multi-day event commemorating the start of the Jewish New Year, meant to celebrate the creation of the world? Or is it what this DreamWorks assistant thinks it is?

Palin is a stupid mofo too

Sarah Palin with Katie Couric...it's horrifying and not a joke. As much as it seems to be. I feel sick to my stomach. Click here for the video.

McCain is a stupid mofo

it's a little long but some seriously goooooood shit. you can skip to about 3 minutes in...and definitely wait for the top 10 towards the end.

oh for crying out loud

today's headlines

McCain Seeks to Delay First Debate Amid Financial Crisis

Laura Bush: Palin Lacks Foreign Policy Experience


(thanks lesli jo)

did they create this just for ME???

Celebrate National Punctuation Day, September 24

NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!

heh heh

click on the pic to make it bigger if you can't read it...it's worth it!

she sucks

a great description of sarah palin from maureen dowd

"a Lancôme rep who thinks 'The Flintstones' was based on a true story"

mmmmmmmmmmm

mrs. jen draper. i like the sound of it.

Jewish Voters Push-Polled

it's nice to see they're involving the tribe. click here below for some pretty fascinating insights.

roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair

reason #479

Blind masseurs jump from bridge

SEOUL, South Korea (CNN) -- Police in South Korea have arrested 26 blind masseurs who were threatening to jump from a bridge to protest a government decision they say will rob them of their livelihood.

The South Korean health ministry recently decided to grant licenses to sighted masseurs and masseuses to practice certain kinds of massages. Since 1963, the law allowed only blind people to practice the profession, Yonhap said.

a brilliant idea for $10

Instead of (in addition to?) us all sending around more emails about how horrible she is, let's all make a donation to Planned Parenthood.

In Sarah Palin's name.

And here's the good part: when you make a donation to PP in her name, they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor. HERE'S the link.

You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the "in Sarah Palin's honor" card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is:

John McCain 2008
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

PS make sure you use that link above or choose the pulldown of Donate--Honorary or Memorial Donations, not the regular "Donate Online"

cross blogination

look here. i'm famous!!!! thanks smeller!

i will resist the urge to put any more cat pix here

i hope there's SOME cuteness left over for my niece or nephew

with a baseball bat

i know it's old, but it's still one of my favorite things. especially when i picture gela doing the banana dance.



STOP PLAYING THAT!!! -mercedes mira

it can't say much for my intelligence...

...but i really love the people's court

here's just 1 example of the insane fabulousness

2 toilets are walking down the street, 1 toilet says to the other toilet, "i feel a little flushed"

34th street viewed from the QM12

(props to the electric lady of the lake for the zinger)