jack's back!!!!

from "100 random facts about jack bauer"

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer gives you his word that you'll get your deal, then he really means it. Unless you killed David Palmer. Then you're fucked.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Jack Bauer can kill 100% of whatever the fuck he wants.

Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

When Jack learned that Audrey was killed in a car accident in China, one billion asians crapped their pants.

Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.